Author: joleneyf

What is the Best Choice You Ever Made

We make choices every day that affect ourselves and others.

Do we always own our choices; our truth to ourselves?

It is hard to face reality. To be honest with yourself. We are constantly trying to measure up to others. When that is the environment we are in, we have to admit that we aren’t living a life that is authentic. The space is not safe to contribute as we conform to fit in. We exaggerate a bit while telling a story. We make up a part of the story because it would intrigue the listener, they would like us. In that moment we are reacting and adapting to the unsafe environment to fit in. We want to sound clever to get a better reaction at the moment.

Choose not to lose yourself.

We contribute to this environment at work or gatherings. Observe yourself in conversation with others. We strive to be our authentic selves, but are we allowing others to be also? We are curating new and old connections bringing joy into our lives again by focusing on including all ideas to bring the best version of yourself. I find the best way to do that is when you don’t know something. Saying, “I don’t know”, just created a safe space for teaching and learning.

My best choice is to be authentic. Put your best choice in the comments.

Who Do You Want To Give Gratitude for Today?

This question excites me so much! The moment when you start to think about who would be on that list is endless.

Do you think you have to choose just one, oh no way, I couldn’t do it not for a minute. I think about who is helping me reach my goals and bringing value to my life. Then the story of how I met them or a funny anecdote that is part of our history. That never gets old to tell and it always gets us laughing. It brings a smile to my face and dare I say goose bumps. I just want to give a hug of gratitude to the person.

There are many different parts of your life – family, friends, co-workers, social groups, and neighbors with people that help you be the best version of yourself. Their contribution to you on your path in life is priceless. The story you tell others about that person describes the connection you receive from them.

So, who are you thinking about today?

Today it is a person who collaborates with me on work projects. Her knowledge and ability bring so much value to the project. She communicates concise ideas with steps that promote action in getting a task completed. She has clear boundaries that guide the project forward. She creates space for her teammate to be the best version of themselves and expects no less from them in doing the same for her. She models patience, humbleness, and freedom. I am smiling thinking of her, and others whom I want to Journal their story. This feels like a good time for a 30-DAY JOURNAL CHALLENGE PROMPT SHEET.

This 30-DAY GRATITUDE PLANNER helps me stay focused and incorporate journaling into my daily schedule.

What Brings You Joy and Lights Up Your World at This Moment?

What is working well for you right now?

That question has me breaking out into song singing “Right Here Right Now” from The Greatest Showman, sung by Hugh Jackman. The original song was by Benj Pasek and Justen Paul. This will be a song I request from Google later in the morning while having a dance-off with myself. That lights me up and brings me joy.

A moment is short, there could be multiple moments that bring you joy and lights up your world at the moment. Take action and create a list that you can return to when your day gets overwhelming. It helps to get grounded again.

*Focusing on my journal writing keeps my daily writing goal top of mind. *Showing up for yoga twice a week. *Sharing gratitude towards a friend for saying yes to a wacky idea.

Mention in the comments what you have given gratitude for today.

Unveiling the Heartfelt Chapters of Real Lives; Stories That Stir

Let’s start a challenge that includes writing in your journal. I want to start Heartfelt Chapters of Real Lives: Tales That Resonate.

Here is 1 in the series. What is authentic today that wasn’t authentic this time last week?

One of mine is relationships, getting connected, and having conversations that will enlighten me on different perspectives which will grow my knowledge. By taking notice of your truths in your relationships you will know where to direct your focus. A simple, but powerful example is your relationship with your intimate partner. Let’s also take note of how organized our days are at work and at home this week compared to last week.

Here is where you can start to take notice of what is working and what is not. I looked at only how it was affecting me. Not what the team as a whole needed. This brought down the effectiveness of the work we were creating. It is hard to look beyond yourself.

By writing my truths today, in my journal, my effectiveness grows.

What Beautiful Phase of Existence are You Currently Embracing?

This is #2 in the Unveiling the Heartfelt Chapters of Real Lives: Tales that Resonate, Stories that Stir.

What phase of existence are you?

The way that this entry formed for me was surprising. I started to make a list, social connections, career, health, creativity, finances, and retirement. When I wrote more on a few items on the list I knew those areas I had down, pat. It was the other areas I need focus on. Those areas were social connections – the integration of others. I have pondered for a while but always run from the conclusion. It’s time to stop running from it and move forward. It is time to move it up my list of things to do. Health was the second one I had nothing to say about. Shame surrounds my lifetime of inconsistent work on focusing to free myself from emotional eating. My actions are so inconsistent. This one bounced around on my list. I am at an age that really can’t be the focus anymore I need to be more consistent with it. When I am not, shame pops up when I see others in my life that know of my ups and downs with weight.

My story that stirs the most is to own where I am and love my body. The list of areas is part of my daily focus, and they are solid because I find peace in self-care.

Celebrate All of Your Achievements: Big or Small. Celebrate!

Self-Gratitude – noun.

A realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself; self-respect. A feeling of being happy with your own character and abilities.

Synonym self-worth to have high/low self-esteem. You need to build your self-esteem. (Oxford Dictionary) Self-care – the practices of activities that are necessary to sustain life and health, normally initiated and carried out by the individual for herself. (Oxford Dictionary) Note; sometimes beginning a journal entry with definitions can help you get creative with the language around your thoughts.

Celebrate your achievements today! It doesn’t matter how big or how small. You are working hard being productive and meeting the guidelines of your workday, celebrate. You met your summer reading goal that by the end of summer you would have read two books. The focus you have given to your financial portfolio will benefit you in the future. You are halfway through meeting your miles for a bicycling 30-day challenge for Children’s Cancer Research. This morning when you woke up and walked through your home things were in their places, because the night before you reset your home. Which removed that feeling of frustration of not successfully picking up your home. Changing your diet, changing the amount of coffee you drank, and lessening stress helped you stay off blood pressure medication. These are all achievements to celebrate.

What are you going to celebrate today? Let me know in the comments.

It isn’t always easy to believe the actions you take are achievements to be celebrated. We get into our heads, right? That it could have been done better or that someone else is doing it better. The thoughts we have bring us down, so we struggle with completing the task that is in front of us. It is much easier to fail than to struggle through and be successful.

Success – noun. the fact that you have achieved something that you want and have been trying to do or get.

Find something you are grateful for around every corner

My heart is full of gratitude for my garden today. Just like life, a garden can surprise you. I found a ripe purple fig today. Blue blooms waving in the breeze caught my eye as I turned the garage corner. The Blue Flax plant was blooming for the first time! It is a low-growing plant with many little green-grey leaves. At the end of the creeping stem of leaves, there are multiple delicate blue flowers.

And as I move around the Arabian Lilac tree, I see an abundance of nectarines. This 3-year-old tree is weighted down by the red and yellow fruit. It must be said, they are delicious! So, as I spent time pruning, weeding, collecting, and raking, I enjoyed a couple of our nectarines and so did the resident squirrel. This time in the garden grounds me and helps me focus on the next hours working to build others up.

Ways that social support can help

Social Support is a hot topic currently, and it is discussed in many articles, books, and podcasts in the last couple of months. It could be the missing piece that we have been looking for to feel normal again. We have been focused on self-care for the last couple of years and it’s usually been in the confinement of the four walls, mostly in the areas of therapy, exercise, and meditation just to name a few.

My self-care list; 1. Exercising – in the garage and riding my bike.

2. Eating healthy-juicing.

3. Finance – laser focus budgeting.

4. Uncluttering my home.

5. Giving – volunteering my time and money to others who needed help with basic living needs. It gave me the focus to look beyond what was going on in the world during the pandemic. Now that it has been a year since most of us have been back into society and 5 months since most safety restrictions have been lifted and we are all searching for something.

I hear the question said in many of my conversations, “How do we get back into the community?” or the statement “I feel lonely.” I read an article recently that referred to a “Morning Consult Survey”, conducted by Cigna which gave some numbers on loneliness. “They found 60% of adults feel lonely; women slightly more than men. Young adults are twice as likely to be lonely than seniors. Nearly 80% of Americans aged 18-24 reported feeling lonely.”

So I got curious to see what the numbers were before the pandemic. I found another survey that was done by Cigna in 2018 (Cigna 2018 U.S. Loneliness Index using the UCLA Loneliness Scale). It found that 46% of Americans feel alone. Only half of Americans have meaningful in-person social interactions. Just below 50% of Americans aged 18-24 feel lonely.

Wow, a bit of a jump in the numbers, but still not as high as I thought. It seems obvious that the numbers would change if we had more in-person interactions. To figure out why that isn’t happening we need to look at how we created that social support before the pandemic. A good starting place is making a list in your journal. My list would look like this;

1. I invited my friend Diana to dinner and a movie we both wanted to see.

2. Met my friend Sheri for a hike.

3. RSVP’d for the social event.

4. Talking to co-workers.

5. Socializing after work.

6. Camping with a group of families.

7. Impromptu meet-ups with neighbors during the week.

8. Going to a pot-luck dinner.

Sometimes social support could come from a deeper place that allows us to be our new vulnerable authentic selves. We are out of practice, and I know I feel my conversation contribution can feel stagnant and dried up. Those opportunities are still available, plus new ones you haven’t tried before like; Walking the neighborhood with a neighbor during lunch. Meeting up for a bike ride, starting a book club, or picking up guitar to learn. There are endless possibilities, you just have to say yes to them because it really isn’t about the product, but the process. If you are taking the class to create a social opportunity does it matter if you walk away after 6 sessions not fully knowing how to play a guitar?

What does your social support looks like?

Reading the Summer Away with New Finds!

Today I was choosing books to read this summer. That are familiar and unfamiliar to me, but encouraging non-the-less, to get me to read. Summer invites you to read more. The days are longer, the hammock is out, and vacation vibes are in the air. I have chosen three books and will add two more.

Where do you look for your books? I love looking at my bookshelves and reading each title and the surprised moment when you realize there is a new book you were not aware of. I read the cover jacket in anticipation. Will it make the cut? My second place to look is a summer high school reading list. When my son was in high school there were always 2 books that we got either from the library or bookstore. Then there is always the annual popular year’s book list from Goodreads. When I get to this list it is fun to see if I chose any on the list already.

What is your criteria to get that special book on your reading list? It isn’t just picking a book because you haven’t read it or it’s your favorite book. I read the book jacket and see what the genre is mystery, non-fiction, self-help, art and so many more. It helps if there is a mixture. And the size of the book, we want to be successful, not have books left unread. One year I put an art book on the mantel. I think I started it, but it was too hard to hold up a 11″x 17″ book in bed. The size has to be perfect, and I have to feel drawn into the book!

I love when I ask on social media for suggestions, some are quite good. So far, I have Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow, The Contagion of Liberty, and Atomic Habits.

Let me know what books are on your list. Here is MY READING LIST AND MORE this summer

Do you ever take your journal to the coffee shop?

Have you ever thought about treating your journaling as one of your relationships? You take your journal to the coffee shop. You start or end your day with comments and thoughts in your journal.

What would your relationship look like with journaling? Maybe really intense and constant. Or dramatic and sad. Maybe no words at all, but colorful drawings that show your feelings or what you are looking at.

What about your relationship with journaling do you need to or want to give yourself some grace or compassion for it?

My relationship with journaling is sometimes very up and down. One day, sentences are flowing and most of them have clear ideas that convey a cohesive thought that make me feel confident like talking to a friend on the phone. On other days there isn’t a single word that comes to my mind that I feel like writing down. Or that are worthy of writing down. Yep, self-doubt can creep in. Like any relationship the words that you say matter and whether you feel safe. Build your relationship with journaling by creating a safe space to get out your feelings. That safe space could look like a specific space that is just for you with no distractions; a special journal with special writing and drawing tools, and maybe even a member of a guided journal group, that writes together with the same prompts.

This idea that we can have a relationship with journaling could help you get started. Write a letter to Journaling, as if she were a person. What kind of relationship would you like to have with her? Keep it casual.

Here are some prompts to get you started with your letter; Thank you… I understand… Right now I’m worried about…

By the end of a specific time, like the end of a 30-day journaling challenge; I hope to feel… I would really like to … I hope we can…

Remember with all relationships you might not always like each other all the time. Hop over and get my 30-DAY JOURNALING CHALLENGE PROMPT SHEET and let me know how it goes!